I'm a closeted Maltese bisexual - why is no one representing me?
I'm really glad to see Malta becoming so progressive about equality and openly discussing lesbian, gay, trans and intersex issues whether in the political, religious or cultural sphere. However when it comes to bisexuality, I feel so alone.
Ever since I can remember, I felt sexual attraction for both men and women. I have been in a relationship with my partner (of the opposite sex) for the last four years. I am not going to reveal my gender for the simple reason that I feel this should be read from whichever gender you look at it and will address my partner as 'they'.
I honestly love my partner to bits. We are great in bed and complete each other in many ways. I can't imagine my life without them.
Still there is a desire which lingers in me to experience being intimate with someone of my own gender. Yet, I feel so suppressed on many levels.
To start off with, my partner doesn't know I am bisexual. They don't know this side of me. I am afraid they will simply take it as being a closeted person using them as a cover. It's not the case! How am I going to deal with this infliction?
As I said, I want to spend the rest of my life with this person. But does it mean that love and sexual desire have to be intertwined with the same person for the rest of my life whilst denying the other side of me?
I really don't have the answers and I am afraid of speaking up about it. But I do have many questions.
Are we meant to be monogamous or is it just a social construct? A recent study showed that people in polyamorous or open relationships aren't any less happier. I feel that this is still such a taboo in Malta.