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  • Baryn Jacobsen

From The Comfort Of Your Own Quarantine: 7 Things To Pass The Time

Whether you've been forced into quarantine or have been granted the luxury of working from home at the moment, we're all spending more time inside right now.

Staying home doesn't have to equal boredom, though. In fact, there are a bunch of things you can do to pass the time. From fitness to freaky, here are just a few activities to keep cabin fever at bay:

1. Log your VPN in to Italy!

As Italy entered lockdown last week, Pornhub announced that our Mediterranean neighbours would be gifted free premium access to their content.

You heard us loud and clear.


Log into your VPN provider of choice (we recommend SetupVPN with Google Chrome - they offer some sweet, free bandwidth between a number of countries to mask your true location) and grab a box of tissues.


You'll be leaving the house at the end of all of this looking swole AF - thank us later.




2. Binge Netflix's queer catalogue.

Catch up on the classics or start something new - the possibilities with Netflix really are endless.


If you're on the latter side and have been living under a rock for the last two years, Ryan

Murphy's Pose is a great place to begin.

A triumphant, heart-rending and dazzling account of ball culture in 80s and 90s and the trans* women of colour who pioneered it, has the largest cast of trans* women in television history.


Other top picks include:


Tales of the City tackles the issue of cisgendered casting for trans* and non-binary roles as well as relationships between queer women and trans* men.

The Fosters are a female-led family fostering a number of children with their own quirks and charms. For a PG show, this show took on many risks - just try not to weigh your opinion on the weird foster-sibling relationship that blossoms mid-second season.

Special follows a gay man with cerebral palsy as he attempts to enter the adult world, get a job and navigate the difficult world of sex, love and relationships.


3. Practice a 14-day abstinence period.

If you've been taking step one too literally already, why not do the opposite while you're bunkering down.


Many people claim that periods of withheld masturbation has helped them clear their minds, beat the control their libido can have over their decision making and even allow them to channel the energy into other outlets.

3. Catch up on all those squats you said you'd get done after Christmas...

You don't want your arms to be the only pumped muscle on show when you're finally allowed back into the outside world.

Take Dua's advice: remember to stay hydrated during your workout.

4. Bedazzle everything you own!

Make like Shane Dawson and cover your fridge in rhinestones.

Because why the hell not???

5. Stream Stupid Love from your balcony.

We've waited long enough through every cover of Shallow (we're looking at you, Michela) for Gags' new era.

We'll be damned to let the bop go to waste! Since we can't take the track to the party, why don't we bring the party home? Educate your neighbours on what real music should sound like.


6. Dance to the BeatBears


Party away in the comfort of your own home to the beats of these amazing DJ Duo, the BeatBears going live this Thursday at 16:00hrs.





7. Catch up on your favourite creators' latest work.

Basically: step two sans Netflix.

*closes tab, opens YouTube, falls into abyss of the algorithm*

If you didn't know, a lot of artists face losing income for the coming months due to the current pandemic. Why not pass the time by catching up on all of those vlogs you've been meaning to...

Malta's very own sweaty lady, Chucky Bartolo (or Tolqueen to the educated) has come up with an alternative to sitting at home and sulking over it all, however.

We're also kinda lucky - as the title suggests, it was either this or OnlyFans and I'm sure we all know which one we'd prefer...


For a taste of what's to come (no pun intended), check out Chucky's content on Facebook and YouTube but be warned: Saturday's livestream has a few surprises tucked away for us all - and that pun was intended.


Save the date (and time), the clubs will no doubt remain closed this weekend and there is never anything good on TV these days, so you really have no excuse.


Stay safe, stay home (when possible) and, in the words of everyone's hero Eric Effiong, don't forget to wash your hands you detty pig.


For all the latest news, info and opinions on the hottest topics hitting the LGBTQI+ communities in Malta, be sure to stay tuned to ARC Malta and MGRM's social media channels.

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