No one can ever understand the pain, the past and whatever happened in your life. Think about it, sometimes we think that we aren't on our own though think about it a little more.... Do people really understand us? The emotions and the pain that we are feeling? Will we ever get better? Some people will say, ''Yes of course, you will be fine, don't mind people'' But think about about it, are they actually trying to make you feel better or is it just a ''Stereo type thing to do''?
Life gets harder or easier to any of us. We can create our own world, our own happiness, our own saddness, but sometimes it's hard to keep pretending life is just a Happy life. Knowing me, I feel like I have so many personalities that I have never even given name as I always denied them. Always denied who I am.
One day I wake up feeling like everybody loves me, and another day I just wake up lonely, Sometimes I think '' Is there anything I could do to get my dad back and hug him for at least one more time? sit down with him and hear him speak about things again.
No one can understand the pain that one person feels. It's true that people think I am a happy boy, I am smiling all the time, hugging everyone, making everyone think that my life was so perfect... But the truth is, It was such a dark childhood for me, I saw a lot of stuff, experienced a lot of stuff, went through a lot of shit that children shouldn’t go to, Starting form my sexuality, Am I even 'GAY' ? I mean I like men, but I would never imagine myself with a guy forever anymore? It is because of person shit iv been through? Pain, Violence that I've been trough, I'v never imagined myself becoming homeless, But it happened, I am a strong person thanks to this experiences.
Sometimes though the scars remain, although they heal, they are still engraved on your skin, and will remain a birth mark untill our last day. It's easy for people to say ''Get over something'' Heal yourself''. Yes, thankfully I am a person of meditation and it does help me a lot though I have a different view of the world, I learned how to appreciate every second, to hear the sounds of nature, to try and understand that because someone did something, doesn't mean that it's their character. Sometimes people do things for the first time, people judge them, thinking they are that type of person. We get judged on our first impression, Scary how the first impression can lead to someone calling you a ''loser'' or tag you for your rest of your life.... Maybe this is why I am confused, knowing that one day I will be old, all the friend's I had are not even in my life anymore, hopefuly I always think of a better life with friends, and still laughing... or else I get treated like shit from a nurse, a nurse wouldn’t even know that I was young once and I had my own life....But how do we know that...
How would I know that I am not in a home, praying to die everyday because life is so repetetive and I am not in control of my own body anymore. It's so scary to think that we remain young and although I am still 24 years, I feel like I have been into this planet for more than 24 years for sure.
Life can be hard, people are fake, everyone wears a mask, social media can leave that much of an impression on a person. someone can easily get judged by posting a picture or a status, People don't know the darkness that a person goes through.. Because some people look for attention and likes, doesn't mean that everyone want's that. Some people are crying for help, yet we bully them by saying ''Everything will be aright'' and not knowing or trying to understand what the person is actually going through.
For example famous people, we never listen to them, then when one of them dies, they become our gods.. awww I miss him/ her, awwww he or she was my favorite.. why is life like this?
Life can be depressing and the point of me in this planet is to see people happy, I am an honest guy and I love to express myslef through pictures, stasues, and all the things you can imagine, yet I get judged and is called a child because I don't have a facebook of a normal sexy model, I decide to look ''different'' yet people still judge you behind your back... It's like seeing a wine bottle...It's only a material, but for some people that Wine bottle is either happiness or saddness. If someone got stabbed by that wine bottle, they would feel fear, while the person that loves the wine, Will feel happiness. We all see the same object but like everything else, everything has a memory, sentimental value, fear, love, everything we see or feel is a memory, sometimes I think to myself ''Why are people so blind to the world, why is everyone still doing horrible things to this planet'
Why are people still littering, and doing stuff that not even a 10 year old does. But I don't like to judge, I wouldn't judge a criminal as I don't know his story. I wouldn't know what that criminal went through into his childhood. I don't know what he seen, felt, heard, or how he was treated.. Maybe crime for him is his only way and he doesn't even know how bad it is. Maybe he doesn't even know that he is a criminal himself... It's like driving.... Even though I am someone that goes like ''Fuck the law or the rules'' I think of this example. Do you ever drive at 66 KMP/H and realise that you should be going at 65 instead, You don't consider yourself as a criminal at that day but the ugly truth would be that yes, you would still be one especially if stuff happen.
I guess life is all about experiences and learning how to appreciate and love the people that deserve to be loved.
Live, love, laugh and try and forget the trouble that we go through though some people will argue against my type of planet that I live in, I still know that deep down, this status is real to those who have been through a lot of shit in their life. I hope this makes you feel better to know that you aren't actually on your own. I hope you understand that we feel alone sometimes, but better days will come.
Please understand that anyone who is reading this, I am okay, I just like to express my emotions every now and then, I hope I don’t get anyone down and I just want people to open their eyes and their minds, that is all. The world is rotting sicker, hotter, and we can survive until now.. but we never know the future.. so let’s try and change this robotic life and let’s be ourselves and find the right people to open our hearts too.. to find true love not just though the appearance of the ego of a person, but loving them.. let’s stop these fantasies and types that we regret when we are older as we tried to chase the person that doesn’t exist.. as the person you are looking for is only an actor or a Disney character...
Sorry to post this on a Saturday night. I’m about to go out and enjoy myself 💚 but we all know that sometimes our mind is just too intelligent to forget.
But I’m “okay”. 👍🏼